After a long consultation with Professor Internet, specifically the fine folks in the Bike Mechanics forum at bikeforums.net I have reached the conclusion that the particular thread difficulties is as a result of it being stripped and then re-tapped. So my handy dandy crank pullin’ tool isn’t going to help. Alternate solutions are needed.
I considered everything from angle grinders to prying it off with a screwdriver, but finally settled on a pair of drill chuck removal wedges, a thing prior to yesterday I didn’t even know was a thing. Amazon is delivering them today.
I think with these, and a few taps with a kinetic force transference device (seen below) they should pop right off.
The only disappointment is that I had planned on keeping the crank set around, but that’s out the window now.